In the Middle of...Questioning the effectiveness

We often complain in our school that the students are the way they are because of the lack of parenting in our district. Many parents seem to be more comfortable assuming the role of friend and equal to their children, allowing the school to take on the task of teaching manners, morals and more. Schools serve to educate beyond the academic and the definition of what they must address is ever changing; this I accept.

Facing the threats of air raids during WWII, teachers instructed students in the art of staying safe (did anyone really believe a wooden desk would stand up under a dropped bomb?) When the dangers of tobacco became evident, smoking and cancer became a part of the health curriculum and the "smoking court" at my high school was officially shut down. Sexually transmitted diseases and Aids led to instruction in safer sex practices (Hmmm...is abstinence the "wooden desk" of our generation?)

So my colleagues and I willingly accept that we may be the only hope many of our students have of learning simple human decency. Saying,"Please, Thank you, excuse me, and I'm sorry" have become part of their formal education because it is not expected or required by those outside our walls.

However, we are increasingly guilty of the very sins we accuse the parents of. Guidelines, rules and repercussions are established and then inconsistently enforced. Students are learning that they are not held accountable for their behavior. Skinner proved long ago that inconsistent reinforcement led to the greatest repetition of a target behavior, why don't we know better. Pick rules that are important and reinforce them consistently.

Take something simple, like gum chewing for instance. We have a rule, I'm not sure I agree with the necessity of said rule, but it is a rule. However, at any given time probably 2/3 of the students can be observed chomping, chewing and blowing bubbles as they walk through the halls. This may not seem important to you, unless you are the one who happens to step in the wad discarded on the floor, but the message is clear; the rules are not important, so why follow them?

A more serious example? One student, who has been in "in school suspension" more than any other 8th grader in recorded history, actually missed his 1st period class for 2 months (yeah, my class!) and has failed every core subject this year, will be joining us on the end of the year picnic and moving on to the high school!! This after he was given several "just 1 more chance" warnings. Again, the message is the same, follow the rules if you want because no one really cares. Where is the line that can not be crossed? When is one held accountable for the choices they make?

If we are in the business of preparing kids to be responsible, committed and compassionate members of society, I'm worried.

In the middle of...Middle School

I swear we never leave! Think about it, middle school was hell, but it was good training for adult life.

As a 7th & 8th grade teacher I am reminded daily of the struggle adolescents go through to define themselves; and the people around them that suffer the consequences.

Independence is not the driving force among the 12-13 year-old population, they do not yet see the value in that. Status and fitting in are the keys to survival.

Those possessing the stronger egos strategize, organize and manipulate with war room skill that would make Patton proud. They surround themselves with followers that are unquestioning loyalists whose main function is to reinforce the greatness of their leader.

The others play the roles that will allow them to survive this war and possibly advance up the chain of peer popularity.

There are the proverbial "brown-nosers" who choose a leader to emulate in dress, speech and actions. They become the "inner-circle", confidants to the General. However, their position carries inherent risks. Should they begin to develop their own popularity or express independent views they are often cruelly attacked and ostracized by the General. Peer pariah.

The infantry is made up of many who just want to be liked. They want to sit at a "good" lunch table and be invited to the best parties. They do not realize how much the General and the "inner-circle" need them to survive. Acceptance is valued and they fail to demand the benefits that friendship should provide them in return.

There are the outcasts. The kids that are so socially awkward or immature that they do not even aspire to join the ranks of the game; they know there is not a place for them.

There are a few who stand out simply because they refuse to partake in the game. Independent, thoughtful, respected.

I look back and realize that I have held many of these roles through my life and finally feel that I am at a point where I am "opting out" of the game. Having people like you evolves from liking yourself. How I envy the kids that have this figured out by middle school!