In the middle of...Middle School

I swear we never leave! Think about it, middle school was hell, but it was good training for adult life.

As a 7th & 8th grade teacher I am reminded daily of the struggle adolescents go through to define themselves; and the people around them that suffer the consequences.

Independence is not the driving force among the 12-13 year-old population, they do not yet see the value in that. Status and fitting in are the keys to survival.

Those possessing the stronger egos strategize, organize and manipulate with war room skill that would make Patton proud. They surround themselves with followers that are unquestioning loyalists whose main function is to reinforce the greatness of their leader.

The others play the roles that will allow them to survive this war and possibly advance up the chain of peer popularity.

There are the proverbial "brown-nosers" who choose a leader to emulate in dress, speech and actions. They become the "inner-circle", confidants to the General. However, their position carries inherent risks. Should they begin to develop their own popularity or express independent views they are often cruelly attacked and ostracized by the General. Peer pariah.

The infantry is made up of many who just want to be liked. They want to sit at a "good" lunch table and be invited to the best parties. They do not realize how much the General and the "inner-circle" need them to survive. Acceptance is valued and they fail to demand the benefits that friendship should provide them in return.

There are the outcasts. The kids that are so socially awkward or immature that they do not even aspire to join the ranks of the game; they know there is not a place for them.

There are a few who stand out simply because they refuse to partake in the game. Independent, thoughtful, respected.

I look back and realize that I have held many of these roles through my life and finally feel that I am at a point where I am "opting out" of the game. Having people like you evolves from liking yourself. How I envy the kids that have this figured out by middle school!